My Holiday(?)

I put '?' because i wonder if it is really a holiday or not... now, im in hongkong, going back to brisbane really soon tho... 3rd of august.. trying to get into the early flight like on the 2nd... so hopefully i can get it... so update~ what has been happening with my life...

holiday in Jkt... it was ok... i wish Will wasnt there with me... he was kinda ruin my freedom and stuff for me... i dont know, i think it is because he is my guess and jkt is my hometown so i need to look after him and stuff... i tried to showed him puncak, he wasnt happy cos the place wasnt clean... yea oka, it is due to his skin problem, but still, to have someone complained or not happy after all you want to do was to show him what you think will be worth it at 3 am in the morning still not a very good feeling.... or that he didnt want to meet my my side of the family because we went out clubbing the night before and got back at 3 in the morning... he was tired, but so was i... i dont know... they put effort into coming into the gathering cos they wanted to meet him... i dont even know when will i ever going to see them again... i dont know... holiday was like emotional battle for me...

and now im in HK, tried to get a work visa, which means i need to find a job first... applied and sent my resumes to more than 16 places, got call back for interview from 5 of them and so far 2 or 3 rejected me... not a very good feeling.... im just tired of all this... then fighting, more fighting... i dont even know if we can ever be happy... im really just sick and tired from all of these emotional roller coaster... just want to end it all, run away and kill my self... then i started to sound like a bloody emo... i want to believe there's hope... but so far, nothing! dont know if i can keep on believing on miracle can happen... it is easy for will cos he's a citizen in here, so he doesnt need a company to sponsor his visa, and he got a call back, just one, and got the job straight away.... so ofcourse he's doing fine... i dont know... yes, i am aware that im whinning about my life... but it is something that i need right now... i dont want bad thing to happen to me... i want to believe that everything good will come to me soon... but when? again, i want to give up.