My Fear is My Friend

Indeed.. im just finished reading chaper 6 and it is about fear... yes, fear! we have that everyday in our life and my biggest fear at the moment is to trust my bf... he's in hk and im in bribane... long distance where i have to make all the effort if i wnt to make this relationhip work... and i thought to my self, it will work because i will learn to trust him.... but this morning i woken up from a very bad dream.... in my dream there's my bf and me.. and this girl sarah (my bf was having an affair with this girl back in the day... dumped me a day before my semi formal and pretend nothing happened on my semi formal and telling me that he wanted to date this girl... not a very good memory of her at all) and another guy... but in my dream, my bf was sitting next to me and he saw this sarah girl with another guy and he got cut then kissed infont of me.... which happened also back in the day when he two timed me... with my trust issue and this kind of dream, it was natural to get paranoid... but then i keep reminding my self, i trust will and this is just a negative thought... i have control over this! so whenever this thought come, i will go outsde of my mind and see it as a boat... this boat will make me feel bad and insecure, ofcourse i dont need this cos this is not real... so i watch the boat go away, and so with my negative thought... and fear of him might be cheated on me.... having a fear means that you're growing... that you are stepping out from your comfort zone, and my confort zone is to not trust people.. to know that i have this fear means im growing and i can choose to grow and face this fear as my friend... as something that will help me become stronger! it is good to know that i can starting to control my thinking again and actually trying to get back my life... to love my self again, to grow and develop into a better person....

xoxo,
Aby